Sora's First Day of School
by FregandGord
Summary: It's Sora's first day of school. Something is bound to go wrong, but even he could have never imagined just how crazy it could get... AU
1. The Day Begins

**Disclaimer;** Freg and Gord would so very much love to own Kingdom Hearts. Unfortunately they don't. And I'm sure you're glad.

**Rating;** Rated T for language and adult themes that may scare the little ones!

**Authors' Note; Well, we are back again by popular demand, with another random story by us! Freg and Gord! So prepare for the randomness! We tried to submit this story earlier but it was REJECTED! So we're trying a new approach. This is Gord speaking by the way; bold is Gord, italics is Freg!**

_Me is Freg! ok then well at least Kairi's head wont pop out the toilet this time._

**Yea. Let's hope. Anyways, this one is about Sora's first day of school, when he was only 5 years old. (smiles)**

_no he is 55_

**What kind of random would start school at 55!**

_Sora!_

**Yea ok wateva…but we're making him 5 years old in this. It's an AU!**

_well we will have to make riku gay…….sorry to all the riku-not-gay fans but…_

**HEY!_ I'M_ A RIKU-NOT-GAY FAN!**

_ok then lets say he is gay_

**I think I need a holiday. Or a drink. Either would be preferable. **

_Ooh look money!_

**$$----$$**

It was Sora's first day of school. He was nervous. So he went to his locker and hid in it until his nice teacher called Mrs Mack came to find him. She said, "Come here and I will tell you the facts of life…"

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" screamed Sora in his little baby voice.

But then Mrs Mack blew up. Sora scratched his head. Then he ate some mushrooms. But they were mouldy.

Sora then decided to go to class, where he learnt the alphabet and how to draw nachos. Then, suddenly, Godzilla burst through the window!

"SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!" screamed Sora, then realised he wasn't supposed to swear, as he was only 5. So he turned Super Saiyan and beat up the scaly reptile until he was only a pile of dust.

"Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho…"said Sora then… DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAAA! He turned into Santa's wife! (that's Mrs Claus to you and me) So he began his long journey to the North Pole. Unfortunately on the way his reindeer died so he had to continue the trek on foot. Finally, he made it. But, to his surprise, Santa had turned into a girl!

"Who are you!" He asked.

"Ho ho ho! I am Santa! I am Santa!" She sung, "Others know me as Kairi."

And Sora, (being a guy) said;

"Hey you aren't going to inflict your horrible singing voice on me are you?"

Kairi said, "Ho ho ho! No little girl, no I won't."

"But I am a guy!" said Sora, confused.

Kairi scratched her head. Suddenly, out of the darkness came...

**$$----$$**

**Authors' Note; Ho ho ho HO! Yes this is going to be a chaptered story, and yes that was a cliffhanger!**

_Yay!_

**Next time, on 'Sora's first day of school'; Will Sora continue his adventure? Or will he be attacked by giant out-of-control monkeys? Will he be thrown in the leopard cage? Or will Kairi save him? Or will Kairi just eat bananas, like the MONKEY SHE IS!**

_Or will Kairi and Sora get it on?_

**I thought you said you were a Sora/Riku lover?**

_Yay! So then Riku, Sora, and Kairi have a threesome!_

**O.O Dude they're only 5…ok Riku is 6 but anyway… Please review people, the chapters come faster that way! Actually, the new chapter will probably comein a fewweeksregardless…(shifty look)**

_Yeh, so be prepared!_


	2. Christmas Eve

**Disclaimer: **Freg and Gord unfortunately do not own Kingdom Hearts, and that is why it is so normal! If we did own it… hahahaha…

**Author's Note: Finally we have got around to writing this second chapter! Woo!**

_Wow it's been soooooo long since I talked…uhh, I mean…wrote a fic…_

**What the hell? Oo Well! We know you all have been greatly anticipating this chapter, so we'll get on with it! **

**Sora's First Day of School; Chapter 2**

"**Christmas Eve"  
**

_Kairi scratched her head. Suddenly, out of the darkness came...  
_

…a moose!

"OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Sora, "It's the moose of DOOOOOOOOOM!"

"WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!" yelled Kairi in panic, and she had a mental breakdown and jumped out the window.

Then just as all seemed lost Kairi was saved by a cow! But this cow had a dark side.

DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

"So!" yelled the moose, "I see you have a cow!"

And the cow's dark side took over and he blew up the moose with a pie!

"Yay!" yelled Bob.

And they all had a tea party.

But then Kairi suddenly remembered her duties as Santa.

"OH NO! IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE AND I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTED GIVING OUT PRESENTS!" she screamed.

So she got Pinocchio to do it.

Pinocchio had a wonderful time flying around the world, dropping down chimneys, and throwing presents at people, but Jiminy Cricket got covered in soot.

"NOOOOOO! SOOT ON MY BEAUTIFUL JACKET! WHAT WILL THE PUBLIC THINK! I WILL NOW REVOLT AGAINST YOU, PINOCCHIO! SLEEP PEACEFULLY NOW, FOR IT IS THE LAST PEACEFUL SLEEP YOU SHALL KNOW FROM THIS DAY FORTH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!" cackled Jiminy.

Just then Pinocchio died from shock and humiliation, but with his dying breath he placed a curse on Jiminy;

"You must kill yourself by tomorrow or I will kill you! Hahahahaha!"

"But but but…" stuttered Jiminy.

Just then Sora came to the rescue and Jiminy blew up, and Sora was blown all the way to South Georgia and the South Sandwich Islands, where he set up camp and roasted marshmallows all day and all night until he became as fat as a large snowball, and rolled across the sea back to the North Pole and found Riku blown up.

Sora slithered over to Riku's remains, where Kairi sat, sobbing.

Then a mini Riku appeared.

"YO DUDES!" yelled the mini Riku, and then he sung a rap song and in all the confusion Sora stepped on him and an even smaller Riku appeared.

"MEEP" squeaked the mini, mini Riku, and Kairi just stood there in amazement.

"WOW!" she exclaimed in glee.

And then Sora, knowing what happened before he stepped on Riku again but Riku died for real this time, and Sora and Kairi ran to Libyan Arab Jamahiriya to have a party. But at the party someone showed up, it was someone they had never expected to see again… and it was…

_$$---$$_

**Woooo! That was so much fun to write…**

_But it took soooooooo long!_

**But it was fun…. Anyways! Everyone thanks for the reviews! They are appreciated!**

_Bye!_

**As just an extra thing, everyone who reviews has to guess who the mysterious someone is, and we'll update sometime! Yay! Cya guys!**

_Bye_

**Have a nice life! Review!**


	3. Prince Ali!

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Kingdom Hearts, it belongs to Square Enix and Disney, neither do we own the song 'Prince Ali', which is also Disney's. We do, however, own the lyrics to our own crazy, cheesy version of it. Which by the way took a long time to write so don't flame it!

**Author's Notes: Welcome back everyone! Thankyou! Thankyou! >ahem> We have updated unexpectedly fast! Yay! And yet it took ages to write the lyrics! XD Oh well. **

_Hi again! _

**And everyone was guessing that the mysterious person would be Ansem! Do you think we would pick such an obvious character? Nope! We chose a random one! Woot!**

_this chappie will be good I assure you…_

**Mwahahaha… although it might not be as good as the last ones, simply because we are short of time, and I think the song makes up for it anyway. So suffer! Hahahaha! Now! To business!**

_Well we hope you enjoy this!_

_$$---$$_

…_It was someone they had never expected to see again… and it was …_

Aladdin!

DUN DUN DAAAAAAAAAA!

But just as he was walking up to them Sora popped up and started singing!

"Hey Aladdin I have a song for you!"

And then a chorus popped up in the background and sung!

"Make way … for Prince Ali! Say hey! It's Prince Ali!"

And Sora began his crazy song…

"Hey! Clear the way! Go get a Mars bar!  
Hey you! Let us through! It's the big red car!  
Oh come, be the first on your block to eat some pie!"

Kairi and Aladdin looked at each other in bewilderment.

"Make way! Here we come! Ring bells! Bang the drum!  
Oh we all love this guy!"

"Prince Ali! King of the Thieves! Ali Ababwa!  
To be fair, we'll give him hair, made out of cheese!"

"But I don't want hair made of cheese…" protested Aladdin.

"And then he'll say 'Hey! I want to start a cheese craze!'  
And then he'll go and have another piece of cheese!"

"This song is very cheesy, isn't it?" stated Kairi fondly.

"Prince Ali! One day he'll be, a big fat llama!  
He will dance, in purple pants, on top of the cheese!"

Then two randoms passing by joined in:

"Oh we love singing along!"

"Does Playschool know this song?"

"If not then there is more cheese for you and me!" answered Sora happily.

The chorus joined in:

"He's got 75 gold bananas!  
Ninja turtles, he's got 53!"

"How did you know!" yelled Aladdin in frustration.

Sora did the next part:

"When it comes to purple polka-dotted pandas…  
Does he know how to moo? Oh, I'm telling you!  
It is quantum astronomy!"

By this point Aladdin was really getting annoyed. "Does he even know what that word means? You put him up to this, didn't you?" he said to Kairi.

Unfortunately, Sora heard him.

"Prince Ali! Angry is he! Angry at Kairi!  
She let me, eat all the cheese, yes it was me!"

(end song)

"SO IT WAS YOU!" Aladdin screamed and chased after Sora.

"Eep!" squeaked Sora, and he ran away!

But suddenly he had a flash back of when he was in Destiny Islands with Kairi,and she blew up! And then he had a mental breakdown and fell to the floor in tears. Aladdin then started jumping on him with glee and yelled, "Hahahahahaha! You shall repent for your sins!"

_DIE SORA DIE!_

**NOOOOOOOOOO! SORAAAAAAAAAA!" >collapses in tears>**

_And then the other authoress took control of the story…heh_

And she came and conquered the world!

So I took over …

**Freg get out of the story… --'**

… So Sora woke up.

"Oh what a strange life I have…" he sighed.

And Sora went to Aladdin's house in Agrabah where he told him of his adventures.

Aladdin ate some popcorn.

Aladdin was very happy with Sora's song, and suggested that he sing it again so he did but he had forgotten the words.

And so he was very sad but then Kairi came in and started singing but she forgot too.

"This place is soooo f- insert colourful language here -ed up! WHERE ARE THE SHARKS? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Oh there they are!"

And then Kairi went to play with the non-existent sharks…

Then suddenly Sora got a look of horror on his face and screamed,

"OH NO! KAIRI! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

$$---$$

**Dun dun daaaaa! Why is Sora yelling? Did something bad happen to Kairi? Like being eaten by the sharks? Or is Sora just retarded? You'll just have to wait til the next chapter! Hahahaha….**

_Yay! That was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cool! I could go on for eva! _

**Yes yes yes… did everyone like our song? It took us forever and we are very proud of it! Aren't we Freg?**

_Yes we are!_

**Ha! So nobody flame it or steal it without giving credit to us! Yea! Uhhh… everyone review! Yea… >frown> reviews make us happy! Or at least it makes me happy… --'**

_Review or die! #$&()+"!_

**Yes that was very articulate, Freg…**

_Hmph oh well_

**Let us depart in peace…**

_Okay…_

**>hums>**


End file.
